Feeling Old

I launched this blog about a week and a half ago and I have just been hibernating. It snowed here in North Carolina last week and we had an ice storm the week before. I don't know I kinda took a mental vacation and I guess I needed it? I don't know, I turned 40 this year, and I usually am someone who believes that age is just a number. I don't try to be "hip" or anything but I do try and to be flexible and understanding about what is going on. For the first time though I feel like things are getting to me. So I used to not have to be concerned that much with doing IV fluids. I used to be fortuante and I could hydrate with Liquid IVs and just drink enough thoughout to make sure I get my necessary fluid intake. I could sneak by with doing IV fluids maybe once or twice every other day. Instead though I am having to do them consistently everyday. I also have some skin break down around my scars and its not healing like they typically do. They are bothersome because they are painful and I don't even know the cause of them.

I keep wondering as I get older what I am going to have to deal with? There has to be consequences for the constant X-rays and CT Scans. Espeically the CT Scans with contrast. I feel like that "warm, wet your pants feeling" has to eventually cause issues to your body. I always joke that one of these days I will end up with superpowers. I know thats just not gonna happen but its a fun joke. I think the unknown is what is scary. I just wonder what it will be like to be 65 with an ostomy? Is it an easy transition? The skin breakdown and weeping, how painful will that be? Will there be other issues with my urostomy? I have alot of questions that I feel like I am not ready for. I just I don't know there has to be consequences for it all. I wonder also could I even handle it?

I had a mental break a few years ago where I couldn't manage it. I had to get help and I am much better and better equipped. I just I am kinda set in how I do things because I know they work for me. I hate when I have to change doing something health wise because it gets in the way. It took me months to learn to adapt to having to do IV fluids consistently. I would ignore the signs and it would get so bad I could barely roll myself out of bed. I would get severe muscle cramps because I didn't do them. They got so bad that I ended up in the emergency room and I would need to get IV fluids. Its how I know how bad dehydration can be for you and that you need to be aware of the signs. I just think it took me to having to the hospital to make the necessary changes in my life that I wonder what will be next?

I understand that people with exstrophy can live productive and active lives. I just wonder how much does our age impact being susceptible to other things like cancer or endocrinology issues? Something that is very new to me is that I am allergic to medical tape. I went all my life never having a problem to medical tape or CHG Gels. When they slapped on an IV, they would slap on the IV CHG Gel, and Therma Barrier an I wouldn't think anything of it. Instead now I have to tell them I have an allergy to it. If you leave on a piece of paper tape or plastic tape I suddenly breakout. I will itch and I will want to scratch everything until my skin wants to fall off. That is super new for me I never had an issue with the tape and after discussions with multiple doctors it's because I just have an "over exposure" to it. I didn't even know that you can just create an allergy to something. Now I have to specifically ask for IV 3000s because if not I will want to peal off anything esle.